Sup May? I think the world, or all five of you who read my blog, knows about how much I hate the month of April, so I’m always overjoyed to see May roll around. Besides telling April that it can kiss my ass, it gets me one month closer to the gloriously warm summer months. I basically live for these months. Unfortunately, I won’t get the break from school that I thought I could take, but next year this will all be worth it.

Hopefully.

You know, if I don’t fuck it up. Again.

Either way, I’m pretty damn close to graduating and I’m going to do it kills me.

This photo was taken on my first visit to my school a couple of months ago.  I couldn’t resist what I douche bag I looked like so now it’s my profile picture on Facebook. I also rented a car while I was in Arizona and because of a fuck up at the car rental place, ended up driving a Camaro, so it really filled out the douche bag persona for me. It was great!

Given that it’s almost my 30th birthday, I’ve been taking stock of a lot in my life. You know, like the tiny fine lines below my eyes that made me buy a metric shit ton of retinol after I noticed them… only to realize that it was more due to my poorly done makeup rather than actual lines forming.

I am not going to age gracefully. Not at all. Botox me up!

Anyway… I’ve been taking stock of a lot of things and, while I’m not remotely where I thought I’d be in life, I’ve done pretty well so far. In my work life, even without a degree, I’m successful. Hell, I’m almost at the top of where I can get in my field and I’m only 29. That’s a huge contrast from when I started this blog. I need to graduate because I have nowhere to go from here in my current field. (Note: this is not a humblebrag because I’m not being humble. I’m just hella bragging. I worked hard for this shit.) I have the home and circle of friends I’ve always wanted, and I throw all the parties that I used to dream of throwing.

I feel like The Little Mermaid in her cave of treasures, bragging about all her stuff but still wanting more. That’s me right now.

Much like her, I also don’t have the body I want. Or the relationship I want. Unlike her, I’m not going to give up my voice to get it. Also, she has better hair.

So, all of that is to say that I’m still not where I want to be yet but I do have faith that I can get there. Step by step, goal by goal, day by day, I’ll get there.

Ooh! Look! I used the word goals! Remember when I used to set goals? Let’s do that!

1. Start to Exercise – I’ll post more on this later but my foot is finally feeling well enough that it’s time to get back at this. So, the goal is this: Week 1 – Exercise once. Week 2: Exercise twice. Week 3: Exercise three times. Week 4: Exercise four times. For now, four times a week is enough if I can do it.
2. Cook Some Meals with Vegetables – I do better when I cook ahead of time, especially when there are vegetables involved. So, since I’m on break from school, I’m going to start cooking ahead and try to get in the rhythm of that.
3. Relaxation Exercises – Since I spend roughly 90% of April having panic attacks, I need to get myself back to a peaceful place. So, relaxation exercises it is!
4. Clean my Apartment – Get this place clean and company ready by the end of the month. Take on small projects each week to get back to full neurotic cleanliness I normally maintain.
5. Weekly Goals – Make weekly goals in addition to these beauties. You know, like I used to do when I was more successful at this health and weight loss thing.
6. Make this Blog Look Less Ridiculous – This design is… too much. I need to make it pretty.

So, there’s that. Hopefully this is my grand re-entrance and not just a late night call to an ex, regretted in the morning.